After doing just less than bugger all sailing last year, I've had to make a change. We all know the problems, getting the right weather with the right tide, hoping that coincides with free time. On top of that my body is slowly falling to bits, which limits things further.
The mooring I'm on dries out every day, and gets wet most days....
On neap tides I can't get off the mud.
Long story short, I hardly got the boat out on the water last year at all.
Not a great deal I can do about my health, and the weather and tides do as they will, the only thing I could change was either to dig a hole for the boat to sit in, or to move onto a better mooring.
I couldn't find any navvies to do the digging, so I moved!
Saltfleet boat club (I'm still not in a "Yacht" club ;-) ) is very small, but very hardworking. Towards the end of last year, as well as building a clubhouse, they hired a digger to dredge a stretch of riverbank, this done they built some new moorings. I was offered one and didn't hesitate to accept. Not only will I be able to sail on every tide, it's just 50 yards from the clubhouse where I can put my feet up and make a cuppa when the weather is iffy.
So plans were in place, the move was on.
Of course, I still had to pick a big enough tide to get off the old mooring, but health and weather were not quite so important for a 200 yard move up the river, or so I thought...
Arriving at the boat on the appointed day, I busied myself getting things ready while I waited for the tide. I'd have the sail ready as the wind was favourable, although very light. I'd also have the big oar, with the "Yuloh" attachment I've made. This was more down to wanting to try it out for the first time than actually expecting to need it. I've been wrong before though.
Eventually there was enough water to try the engine. It hadn't run since October, so I was amazed when it fired up first pull!
I was less amazed when there was no water coming from the tell-tale. Bugger!
Without the time to sort out whatever was bunging up the waterways, I would be engineless.
No problem, thought I, the wind was still just enough to do the job, and I still had the Yuloh to try out.
As high water came I cast off the bow mooring rope and pushed the nose of the boat out into the river so I could turn it around. That was the plan anyway, unfortunately the tide still wasn't high enough and the keels were still sat in their holes in the mud!
A bit more waiting, a bit more levering with the big oar over the side into the mud, and she started to swing out.
This was when I discovered another idiosyncrasy of Saltfleet Haven. Despite it still being an hour before high water, the river seemed to be going the wrong way! It was flowing out to sea and taking my bows with it.
I've puzzled over this since, and the only thing I can put it down to is a sort of "rebound" from the end of the river. 50 yards upriver from the new mooring is the sluice. The other side of this is Lincolnshire's famous "below sea level" farmland, at low tide water is allowed to flow out to sea in order to keep the land drained. When there's a lot of rain it has to be pumped out....
Now, to the incoming tide, this sluice is simply a concrete wall - the end of the river - and there's not much else it can do (I'm assuming here) other than head back down the river on top of itself.
I might be wrong, and I'd be happy for a proper explanation if you have one, but for now it'll do.
What I had was a rising tide, which I wanted, but the river flowing the wrong way.
Back to the move....
Once I'd pushed the bow round far enough I'd be able to use the sail, so I got this ready to hoist. Using the oar, I pushed the bow round using the river bed, once I'd got it far enough I dropped the oar on the coachroof and got back to the cockpit to hoist the sail.
By the time I got there the current had swung the bow back downriver, double bugger!!!
Back to the bow again then, big oar over the side and start pushing, got the bow well round, and a bit further than last time, before getting back to the cockpit a bit sharpish to pull the sail up.
Treble bugger, not sharpish enough, obviously! The bow was already facing the opposite bank as I started to pull the halyard......
Right, this time I'd hoist the sail, push the bow round, then nip back to the cockpit and cast off the stern rope. Easy.
No.
All went to plan until I got to the cockpit to find the wind had disappeared while I wasn't looking. The bow swung back.....
At least there was nobody watching!
I sat in the cockpit, sweating, shaking a little from the exertion, and made another plan....
Push the bow round, get back to the cockpit, then start the bloody engine! Cooling water or no cooling water, I'd only need it for a few seconds.
It worked. I was moving.
Stopped the engine as soon as I'd gathered enough speed to send me upriver. The sail was still up as I was too knackered to deal with it, so I pushed the boom out hoping there might be enough wind to keep me moving. I was wrong. Not unusual that.
I was drifting towards the boats moored on the bank and, being such a small river, they weren't far away to start with.
This gave me the chance to drop the yuloh over the stern and glide gracefully up the river under my own power. Guess what? Wrong again.
The yuloh consisted of a 9ft oar, with a 3ft extension joined by an offset bracket, it turned out that the bracket wasn't quite up to the job and once there was enough pressure on it, the oar could turn inside it. Quadruple bugger!
So I started the engine again. A few seconds and then off again.
This got me another 50 yards or so, clear of the boats and to where the high sea defence banks were lower. There was a bit of wind, I was sailing!
OK, I was sailing so slowly it was difficult to tell, but I could steer, so that would do for me and I relaxed for 10 minutes.
As I neared the new mooring my "crew" was ready. Ali had been waiting with a rope to throw to me, in case I needed a pull in to the bank. About 20 yards before the mooring (and about 18 yards too early) I dropped the sail. The boat stopped. How many "buggers"? I've lost count...
I made the last 18 yards kneeling on the bow using the big oar (downgraded from Yuloh again) to hear Ali singing "Just one Cornetto"!!!!
I got the nose in and tied up the bow mooring rope, went back to the cockpit and found out that the boat wasn't going to fit between the mooring "arms"! Most of the boats at Saltfleet are smaller than mine, and I've only got a little one.....
With the mooring lines lengthened, the boat sat outside the mooring arms. Job done.
Well, almost.
The engine had to come off and go home with me. It's heavy, I was already knackered.
Anyway, I disconnected the control cables, wrestled it into submission in the cockpit and made a plan to lift it off the boat. Then I noticed......
The platform on the mooring was being covered by the still-rising tide. A few more buggers!
Already six inches deep, I took my shoes and socks off.... It was bloody cold!
The engine finally wrestled into the back of the car, the boat tied up, I went home.
I need a smaller engine..... and a way to stop the oar twisting in that bracket..... and....
It never ends with a boat does it?
